So six sides of notebook pages later…I’m done with your letter..you either probably won’t read it..or read it with your brother/friends & laugh about it..or maybe you’ll surprise me & actually read it.
But I won’t get my hopes up, again.
I love you so so much..like I honestly do.
To think we should have a two month old son or daughter together right now is just crazy..I wish we did, I wish I wasn’t a fuck up & lost that baby..but I can’t change what happened, no matter what I do, so I’ll have to live with it the rest of my life, whether you choose to or not, is up to you.
I really hope you lead a good life, if this is a final goodbye, I hope you’re happy in life & lead a clean, sober life..with at some point a wife & children.
I wish you the best, whole-heartedly.
trying to decide if i wanna write a letter saying that i pretty much hate the fact that you came back into my life just to act like a douchebag & that i was doing fine without you & how i still am pathetically in love with you & yet hate you for everything you do..your pill addiction, how you treat me..how you’re selfish enough to fucking say that i never had a miscarriage with our kid, on my own, so that you dont have to deal with the emotions of it..idk..i really wanna like…i feel like thatll help me just completely detach myself..but at the same time i dont wanna just be done like that..like a complete goodbye…uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhh idk what to do..
go the fuck to bed so i can have a nice cry..okkk…..
At this point I’m just waiting for everyone to go to bed, so I can listen to my depressing music & cry…
lololol, really though
exactly a year ago tonight, I met you..hugged you for the first time & didn’t even want you & thought you weren’t anything too special…lol..
where the fuck does time go, really…time just FLIES & so much changes in such a short amount of time.
if someone told me this night a year ago, that you were the guy i’d be retardedly in love with, and supposed to have a baby with, i wouldve probably laughed in their face & been like…”have you seen how fucked up his teeth are??? & hes short…i only like tall guys.. “
talking to my baby’s dad again means so much to me<3
I’m so glad he finally came around, I never thought he would..ahhh i love him so mch & miss him so much
I wish our baby was still here so we could be the happy family that we should be ):
It’s crazy that in just a couple weeks I’m supposed to be having a baby, being the happiest, most blessed mother.
If I could changed things to the way they’re supposed to be, I would in a half of a heart beat- cause it’s supposed to be me & you, through thick & thin with our child.
I wish I still had you to hold my belly & rub it & talk to our baby, I wish our baby was still here…
Probably the hardest thing in life is losing a child & I would never wish that on anyone.
I would trade so fucking much just to go back in time & make sure our family stays together.
I love the both of you more than anything.
I should be 33 weeks today, I love you peanut & i miss you so so much.
watching megamind & going to sleep
Only thing that would make this better would be if my baby was still in my belly & his/her daddy was here holding my belly like he used to.
Miss everything so much :/
everyone else’s sex sucks compared to my ex, haven’t had GOOD sex since october…..want him back hahaa plus im still retardedly in love with him
I miss my peanut everyday…
On sunday I’d be eight months…
Time just flies, but I spend every moment of is missing you, loving you & thinking of you peanut<3
blaaah his mom’s so crazy and angry ):
allll I did was sleep over (in his older brother/my close friend Dan’s bed)
and she flipped out..wah…
Hey brandon, you hungry? EAAAAAT AAAAHHHH DIIIIICKKK